What I mean by the "easy dig" is the quick insult or disrespectful comment someone can shoot at their partner, often done after an incident where an opening is available for that kind of exchange. It's the kind of remark coming after a slip-up or accident, and gives the other partner an opportunity to one-up the other by showcasing their mistake, rather than acknowledging the error and moving on and/or helping soothe the hurt feelings that may suddenly be developing.
An example is when, say, he accidentally calls someone else by another name, and she'll criticize him for always forgetting names, rather than being patient with his poor memory. I've seen the same with the wife-husband scenario swapped. Another example I've seen is she'll let the toddler wander around the house while company is over, the kid will fall down and hurt his knee, and the husband will rail against his wife for "always letting Junior wander without supervision, and is that the kind of parent she wants to be?"
Often, couples make mountains out of molehills, and heck, this isn't just the domain of those in relationships, but everyone else too. We get too anxious about things that haven't transpired yet (a hurt knee isn't a broken spine, a forgetful mind isn't detrimental to someone's entire personality).
I came across an example of a couple that avoided the easy dig. I was driving with my friend, she was behind the wheel, and she took a turn too fast and ended up hopping on the curb and popping her tire. Thankfully, we were one minute away from her house, that she shared with her husband and two kids. Pulling up to her house with the flopping tire, her husband was on the porch smoking and shaking his head, the obvious precursor to a few lobbed insults I expected to come her way. But this guy took it all in stride, said to his wife, "It's OK, it's OK, I'll fix it now and get it changed proper at the mechanic's across the way." He was more concerned about ensuring he got the tire fixed then being angry or insulting.
That same couple went out to a smokehouse BBQ with me the following night and she spilled water all over his jeans and shirts before the food arrived. Again, here is an opportunity for him to criticize her clumsiness, something she even admits, but he didn't even raise his voice. He didn't use this mistake as an opportunity to get an edge in the relationship. And I admired his composure, which I know he didn't have when they first started dating.
One of the pillars of a solid relationship is respect. When we lob insults or demeaning comments to our partners, we reveal how we truly don't respect their feelings or emotional state at the time. It would've been easy for that husband to make fun of his wife for busting a tire, so it's an easy opportunity for him to be superior - I'm the better drive, that would have never happened with me.
But the better person in that situation needs to understand how a quick jab will only hurt their entire relationship. Like a boxer facing those jabs, that connection can get worn down by all those small hits of abuse, accumulating day after day. Even if the situation is innocuous, like a spilled glass of water, those criticisms backed by disrespect instead of empathy can do serious harm to the love forming the foundation of that relationship.
TLDR: Don't be an asshole, peoples.
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